Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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