She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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