I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
