Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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