dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
