Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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