they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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