I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
