I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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