ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
