Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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