PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
