I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
