Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
