hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
