reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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