wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
