weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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