A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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