hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
