His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Randomize
