Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We got so high we made milksteak
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
