Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
