Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just high enough for therapy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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