Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I only lived at night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
