that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
