do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
