im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
