So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
