dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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