The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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