So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
