so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
