: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
