I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
