Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
