Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
