I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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