after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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