brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
