Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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