I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
