I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My life is pants optional.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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