That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
