yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's the barista slut.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
