I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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