took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
