I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
