with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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