i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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