i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just cropdusted the office
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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