In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
