Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize