Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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