Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
