I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
