There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
