Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
