Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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