In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
