I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
